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Before we start, let’s accept it – science is against you, it will fail you!!

Science works in a funny way. It provides answers to all possible things, makes all that goes around logical and practical. People swear by it too, yet it fails us at times. And one of those areas is expressing ones emotions properly.6670904559_8df1e8b45e_z Be it expressing one’s love and affection towards someone, describing the sadness from someone’s passing away, appreciation for music, narrating that fantastic meal, or drawing a verbal imagery of that breathtaking view you spotted on your last trip, you’ll fail at framing it in to words.

Our brain is tuned in a funny way. Without falling prey to medical jargons, there are three lobes in our brain – frontal/outer, middle, and the core, chronologically, much like an archery board. Front commands our capability of identifying, analysing, and operating with factual and logical data, also called the WHATS. Middle regulates the HOWS that operates subjectively from person to person being dependent on the two lobes it is sandwiched between. Finally, the core dictates the WHYS notoriously managing our feelings, emotions, and experiential indices, even tastes, smells, and textures. Two brains are never the same and thus not two people will ever think, feel, and emote exactly the same way. Not just neurologically distinct, physically as well. In men, WHAT is physically dominant and in females WHY dictates. Thus, men are often deemed logical, factual, and practical, while women are considerably emotionally bent and stronger. This principle difference in our brains’ medical construction draws the very essence of us operating differently. And it’s owing to this often the biggest failure amongst couples exists – ‘S/he doesn’t understand me’. And why’s that? Because our ways of conceiving and analysing conditions, emotions relating to them, and finally the ways of expressing, not to forget the sensitivity at it, are different. They’re barely any commonalities. That said, let me share an imperative scientific fact here. There’s no nerve that connects the logical frontal lobe and the emotional core. This makes the confluence of  juices between the two nearly impossible. There’s a medical disconnect and we can not really do much about it. Facts don’t understand emotions and emotions fail logics. Love is an emotion and thus we say all is fair in it. Law is a science and thus needs proofs. Music is an emotion thus has no language and boundaries.

In case you know how you feel and wish to emote, you’ll fail at a practical level for sure. Not just finding the best words but also at their optimum arrangement. Then why try? There’s an alternative thinking here that I’ve grown to believe in.

Your failure at expressing and emoting is certain. It’s just the play of bridging the gap as much as possible by trying and building a muscle memory. At first you’ll fail, and you’ll fail miserably. You’ll probably not only not Screen Shot 2017-08-21 at 21.52.40be appreciated but be reprimanded for spoiling a nice emotion and a memory. You’ll make a big boo-boo. But then you’ll realise it comes by trials. And then someday you’ll get lucky. You’ll finally realise which words work and how they’re to be presented. You might even be appreciated for it. It’s then that you’ll also realise the sincerely under-appreciated value and power of communication. And soon the ripple growing will be visible, it may even come full circle. Your peers and family will be making innocent attempts at reciprocating, that’ll initially be funny and lame but you’ll also understand having gone through that miserable scientific failure yourself. Science itself will be a little embarrassed for constructing you so but a little proud that its defeat got two people emotionally closer. It’ll find a small victory in yours. Relationships will get better with it. An insatiable desire to understand your partner better will be in place. And soon it will be a more confident relationship.

We are destined to fail at many things in life, let this not be one of them. Actions can be forgotten words aren’t. It’s the least one can do and at times the most. At least give it a shot.

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